" Cant you see that I'm lost in a sea of you. I'd rather drown in your shadows that swim in someone else's light"- Perry Poetry
I miss you so much it hurts sometimes. Other times I hate you with every thing in my soul. I hate that you came into my life when I wasn't whole. I hate that I'm sitting here struggling to put down the words that you will never read, just to get them out of my head.
I love that you showed me what being happy feels like even if it is for a short while. I almost picture us together in the end. Only to be dragged back to a reality that it is never going to fucking happen. So I take the knife that you hand me to free you from me. severing the tie between us, it was a cowardly move to save myself from hurting you. Which I will eventually do, we were never meant to be. The sooner I get that through my head the better. Sometimes I let myself daydream about what if? What if I told you I love you more than I love myself. Would you laugh? would you shrug me off and say I don't mean it. Would you believe me when I say I would kneel on broken glass if it meant you would love me. That I would drown myself in your hatred just to be close to you. .. Maybe one day ill believe.. you giving me a piece of yourself even if its only for a short while. Amuse yourself with me-use me till there's nothing left of me to give. Ruin me for anyone else. all the while keep yourself whole. Ready to slip away the moment I step over the line. The minute I forget that I mean nothing to you drag me back down,bruise me again so I know my place. Leave me to suffer alone in the end but come back to me for now. Let me forget for just a while...
